Step One: The Plain Black Letters

Of the many things I am guilty of, procrastination is one…. I started this blog 3 years ago, probably at my strongest point in my faith. Through life’s trials and troubles I have fallen off. I struggle to speak to God the way that I once did. I don’t approach him with all of my worldly issues. I don’t even take my family to Church on Sundays. My new practice is to entangle my mind in my own selfish aspirations, anxieties and fears and tussle with them endlessly like I’m going to make since of it all one day on my own. I’ve watched my tone with my children grow more indifferent and harsh. I’ve failed to provide my wife the safety and security that it is my biblical duty to maintain. If you ask her, I’m too stubborn and I have an extremely hard time admitting to my faults, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that…

So what am I even rambling on about? Is it my existential desire to bleed my thoughts onto the page and force your eyes to soak in my sorrowful self-loathing? No, that’s not it. It’s more to collect me thoughts and put them somewhere in plain black letters. It’s the only way I think I’ve ever been able to truly realize how I feel about something. Perhaps that’s why God gave me the gift of the written word.

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