Step One: The Plain Black Letters

Of the many things I am guilty of, procrastination is one…. I started this blog 3 years ago, probably at my strongest point in my faith. Through life’s trials and troubles I have fallen off. I struggle to speak to God the way that I once did. I don’t approach him with all of my worldly issues. I don’t even take my family to Church on Sundays. My new practice is to entangle my mind in my own selfish aspirations, anxieties and fears and tussle with them endlessly like I’m going to make since of it all one day on my own. I’ve watched my tone with my children grow more indifferent and harsh. I’ve failed to provide my wife the safety and security that it is my biblical duty to maintain. If you ask her, I’m too stubborn and I have an extremely hard time admitting to my faults, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that…

So what am I even rambling on about? Is it my existential desire to bleed my thoughts onto the page and force your eyes to soak in my sorrowful self-loathing? No, that’s not it. It’s more to collect me thoughts and put them somewhere in plain black letters. It’s the only way I think I’ve ever been able to truly realize how I feel about something. Perhaps that’s why God gave me the gift of the written word.

Will I stumble?


for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,   -Romans 3:2

 I’ve been a drunk, an atheist, a liar, a thief, and a degenerate.Through my selfish and careless actions I have hurt innumerous amounts of people. I’ve knocked people down and I’ve kicked others while they were down. I’ve disappointed the ones that love me the most. I’ve disappointed myself. I’ve looked in the mirror and not even recognized the man staring back at me. Continue reading

Playing with fire


Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.   -1 Peter 5:8

We’ve all seen videos of people interacting with dangerous animals like they are common house pets. The man who chose to live with bears, or the guy that walks around with and plays with lions. One wrong move would be certain death Continue reading

Trust and lean on God


But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.   -2 Timothy 3:1-5 Continue reading

How bad is it really?


“I spilled my coffee, I had a flat tire, I was 30 minutes late to work, I forgot to bring my lunch, the copy machine destroyed my expense report, got home and my dog had eaten my favorite pair of shoes and to top it all off, I burned the lasagna for the dinner party. Ugh, I don’t even know why I try anymore. I just want to throw in the towel. WORSE. DAY. EVER!”   -Random Facebook Friend Continue reading

What do you want from me?


As Christians, I think we forget who is driving the bus from time to time. We pray for that new job, maybe an approval on a loan, the winning lottery numbers, etc. We talk and talk and talk, then say a quick ,”Amen” and off we go. It’s almost like we just tell God what we really really want and expect him to deliver. But how often do we stop and take time to listen? How often do we stop and ask God what he wants for us?
Continue reading

God Given Talent


We’ve all heard the saying, “Do something you love and you will never work a day in your life.”, but what exactly made you love that thing in the first place? Why do you think that you are pulled in that direction? Most people can’t fully answer these questions. It’s just something that’s in them. Something that has been there for as long as they can remember. Continue reading

In the midst of the storm


You’re silently screaming in a crowded room. People offer clichés to try to comfort you. Simple pleasantries like, “I know you’ll make it through this.” or “You can do so much better than him/her.”, but your ears are ringing too loud for their words to even come close to your heart. Nobody could ever be able to know the pain you are feeling right now. The inner storm rages on. Continue reading